If I can get through my online class within the next six days, all the bullshit of high school will be over by Friday. One week. I can do this. Maybe.
Erg. Anxiety meds. Not working. Haven’t been working all day actually.
And nothing is helping. Journaling, running, nap, friends are busy, art, getting off, nothing.
I want to say things will be better tomorrow. But knowing what going to be on my plate, it’s highly doubtful.
I think I’m going to flake on the remainder of my responsibilities for this evening and just go to sleep. ThoughItotallyshouldstayupandworkallnightonmyonlinehistoryclasslesigh.
So my friend got me to watch Game of Thrones..
And now I’m almost done with season one and I’m completely and irrevocably hooked.
And I still have one more to go until I’m caught up.
Just spent the last hour and a half eavesdropping on my father’s conversation in which filled my grandparents in on, well, me. Which was all the fun because apparently I scare him and he doesn’t understand “people like me” and thinks that there is a correlation between higher IQ’s and being mentally… off. Like some chemical imbalance that can’t be fixed or something. And apparently I remind him of his first girlfriend in college, like to creepily accurate extent. But she was a cutter and I am not, but similar in mindset supposedly until she committed suicide like a year after they broke up. He also thinks I’m practically psychotic for seeing a psychologist now.
Like yay thank you father for confirming what I thought you’ve been thinking. woo.
As of this morning I am going through my first break up from a long term relationship.
Shit hurts like a bitch.
If someone really wanted to shred me to pieces from the inside, out, the most effective way to do so would be to completely cut off contact all with me without warning or explanation, leaving me to wonder 24/7 what I did wrong to upset them.
Like ignoring calls and texts, over an entire weekend.. Abruptly no response as opposed to being in contact the majority of the time…
I mean its totally cool, don’t worry about making me hardly able to function or anything…
I received my first university acceptance letter today…
Along with an $8000 scholarship.
To my first choice school.
It is a good day.